So, I decided since I promised that my posts would include humor and many of my topics have been pretty serious that I would throw out a random story just to keep you all dosed with a good amount of laughter for the week. This story is from something that happened a couple of years ago and pokes some fun at myself so you might want to grab a snack and get comfy before you continue reading.
A very serious situation actually led me to the funny one but without this background you won’t see the full humor of what I’m about to share. As some of you may be aware, but many of you probably are not, I had a man stalking me several years ago and and had some issues with him again a few years back. I had him arrested and he received only probation and so he continued to be a potential threat to me and my family. I’m not a timid, victim kind of person and so I got my pistol permit and a brand new Ruger 380 and declared that I would protect my children by whatever means necessary. My husband travels a lot for work and while I have always been strong willed, his being gone a lot has taught me to be even more independent and strong. When it comes to my kids, I’d spend my life in jail before I allowed anyone to hurt them. I also got a black lab, named Diesel, as an outside guard dog to warn me if anyone or anything came into the yard that shouldn’t be. He was a huge baby and more likely to lick you to death than harm a hair on your head, but his bark sure sounded scary and if I hadn’t known him he would have scared me. He had a fenced in run with a dog house on the back corner of our house and could see the whole back yard from where he was so I felt safe to go out at night knowing if anyone was in an area I couldn’t see, he would alert me. He was a great dog that always listened and was quite well trained. Being a dog, he would bark at dumb things too, but you could tell the difference in his bark and if it was nonsense and I told him to stop he always would.
One night Diesel started barking, a consistent and deep bark. It was a bark like when a stranger came to the house or something out of the ordinary was happening. It wasn’t like when a cat wandered through the yard or something. I looked out back and the motion light hadn’t been triggered so I told him to stop. It was as if he hadn’t even heard me. He was jumping at the gate and barking very intensely. Again, I told him to stop and this time with a more stern voice. Again, he ignored me. I went and got my pistol from the safe and headed for the back yard. I opened the door and the motion light came on which lights up a good portion of the yard but still leaves much of it in darkness. With my gun in hand, I walked slowly toward Diesel’s kennel. He is still jumping at the door and freaking out. I am about five feet from him basically screaming at him to stop and he won’t settle. I am convinced at this point that someone is in the darkness of my backyard. I face into the darkness and point my pistol with both hands toward “the enemy”. I yell into the darkness, “Whoever is out there has clearly pissed off my dog…maybe I should let him out to play. By the way it’s been a while since I’ve had a chance to and I’m just dying to shoot my gun.” For some reason, Diesel stops barking. I guess he knows mom’s on the job now and whoever is out there is in big trouble so his job is done. Then from the sudden quiet comes a clanking sound. It’s a sound that if you have heard it before is unmistakable. I take my phone and turn on the flashlight as I lower my gun. I shine it into the back area by our fire pit and sure enough, two big buck are fighting and repeatedly smashing heads. Diesel had heard the clanking of their horns which was an unfamiliar sound to him but he couldn’t see back where they were. Turns out the deer refuse to be victims too I guess because Diesel’s incessant barking and my crazy, screaming threats to pop a cap in their butts clearly did not deter them from doing as they pleased, but I guess now they know how strongly I feel about trespassing!:)